Being Alone
Sadly, how I spend most of my time
It is the curse of the modern creative. This horrible little box in front of me has stripped away a lot of the contact with, but not limited to, people and things. I haven’t picked up art supplies for my job in a long time. I don’t have to wait an hour to have my photos developed. These 2 things meant that previous generation of photogs could *gasp* actually meet and socialise with their peers! I have heard plenty of stories of how photographers would hand in there film to be developed then nip across the road to get a pint together before (after the allotted hour was up/pint was done) heading back over to collect their work. No more.
I can now go days without having a conversation. Not seeing anyone let alone another photographer. This can be very damaging and its a really danger when I can’t get out of my own head because of it. The mind is a wonderful echo chamber, for anything. Good or bad.
Creativity and Confidence
When this does happen I (and I know others too) will often attempt to create things. The problem becomes more obvious when I attempt to DO things. I get creative but the fear kicks in and I do nothing with that creativity.
The Case FOR creating alone
...it’s not all doom and gloom. Being alone while you create gives you the advantage of being able to get into the zone. You know what I mean, that fevered drive to make and create. That need to create. Its great, and with no distractions you can make great things.
Other people are sometimes a real drag. Especially when they attempt to critique your work before its complete. Who the hell asked them anyway. Alone time gives you the opportunity to make something on your terms, not someone else’s.
The Case AGAINST
Its a feedback loop and its seriously destructive. Being alone means you shun others which leads to you spending more time alone and wind up having less and less of a social life to draw on in the first place making it easier and easier to be alone.
Socialising improves your health (not if you go out and get pissed all the time but you know what I mean!). This isn’t opinion, there are lots of studies that prove we do very badly when isolated. Not just mentally, oddly enough this can actually damage our physical health too.
This bit is important so I will say it again, it is a feedback loop. Being alone and loneliness can feed back in on themselves isolating you further and amplifying the feeling. Welcome to the echo chamber.
Creatively, its good to have a sounding board to tell you when you are making something shit...its hard to hear but the occasional “what the fuck is that?” can really make you stop to look at the big picture and really ask your self “what the fuck is that?!?!”. Not every idea is a good one.
Ok, so you’re alone, how do you stop?
Let’s brute force this problem. No really, don’t waste my time with excuses. Hit this now and hard.
Do things, sign up to go outside on walks. Signup for free classes (they tend to have the most interesting people) or pay if you want. Sign up for something new. Sign up for everything if you have to. When you do, you must follow through and go to these events.
Give an hour of your time to other people.
Volunteering can be great. Helping others is generally considered ‘a good thing’ so I’m told. While your motives may be less that altruistic your action may help others and allow you to gain a bit of perspective.
Team sports. Yes, I nearly vomited typing it but the combination of socialising and exercise is spectacularly good for you.
Get a job! (how many times have you heard this as a creative! HA!) No, not as some full time desk jockey but maybe a very part time job working in a bike store or part time teaching (ooh that might even count as helping others too). Whatever it is make sure its with other people.
QUIT a Job. That aforementioned desk jockey position can be absolutely lethal to some peoples creativity and health. Know when to quit something especially if it isolates you and make you miserable. Short of a bullet wound or a drug addiction few things do as much long term damage as bad jobs.
How to deal with being alone
Firstly it is important to say, being alone does not have to mean being lonely. Oddly enough being lonely also does not have to mean you are alone. Its not always possible to avoid either but it is possible to ensure they are not your default position. Learning to get out of your own head, being present and engaged with the world around you is vital to ensuring that loneliness is temporary and being alone is not damaging. Learn these skills by meditating, listening to music, audio books, podcasts or radio programs. Back away from the news a little. A lot of it is speculation, opinion or over examination to the point of meaninglessness and it has a tendency to just wind people up in large doses.
Most importantly, if this isn’t working then get help. See a GP. Go from there. If you learn one thing from this post it must be your physical health and mental health are the same thing. Neglected, you will die. Grim but true.
A conclusion and warning, your not Vincent Van Gogh.
Sadly, this creative genius was tortured by his own mind in a time when a diagnosis for such problems was not available. He suffered because of the ignorance of his time and because of this he shot himself. It took 2 days for him to die.
Being alone is toxic, it is addictive, it will eventually kill you. It is such a problem now that we currently have a minister for loneliness set up to try and tackle the problem so even if you don’t believe me or anything else in this post understand I am not alone (pun intended) in trying to tackle this problem.
With all that said, lets make stuff together. No really, I love working on creative projects so if you want to work on a project together get in touch through my website itchyphog.com or through my instagram account.
Be polite.
Be efficient.
Have a plan to hug everyone you meet